I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize