the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
