you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Randomize
