Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
