He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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