I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
