I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
