Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
someone threw a dead crab at me
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
