So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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