i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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