You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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