I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
