i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
