So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Dick very happy bro
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
