ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
