I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
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