Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
