You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
