Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
