i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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