I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
