Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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