Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
