I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
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