Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
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