dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
