Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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