You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
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She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
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I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
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