I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
