so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Randomize
