This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
