he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
the day after is always just damage control
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
