I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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