Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
