Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
