i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
