please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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