You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
