he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
