if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
