I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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