so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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