Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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