Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
No...this little piggys going to the bar
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
