At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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