we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Semen is not good for contacts.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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