i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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