What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
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