how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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