oh god the rape fog is back!
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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