We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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