would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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