Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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