Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I want to be your penis for a week.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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