Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
