Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(775): View more from Nevada

No, you can still breathe under the balls.

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(347): View more from New York

Leave Me Alone

(573): View more from Missouri

At least least me cry on your voice mail

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(231): View more from Michigan

OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?

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(707): View more from California

At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.

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(336): View more from North Carolina

Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised

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(732): View more from New Jersey

I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.

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(330): View more from Ohio

Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.

(330): View more from Ohio

She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.

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(716): View more from New York

She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.

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(914): View more from New York

I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT

(954): View more from Florida

I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.

(954): View more from Florida

SUPER ADULTS

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