She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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