I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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