so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
