it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
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