I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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