community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
