I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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