If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
