and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize