I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
