At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize